STAB! Podcast Host Elections Heat Up
For 7 years Jesse Jones has been on STAB!, a Sacramento-based comedy panel show podcast. Jones been a fixture on the panel as a contestant, but recently he’s taken over as the host of the podcast. Jones has been a part of that podcast unopposed for years. However in a recent, odd turn of events, Kevin Scott Brown, host of Rankinator and the NPC Podcast, announced his intention to run against Jesse Jones for the position of host of the STAB! Podcast.
Both candidates should be properly analyzed, and as local Sacramento comedy scene political analyst, I will work to make sure everyone has sufficient explanatory journalism content to aid in their decision making. During this election season I’ll do my best to keep you abreast of any developments.
The Incumbent
From a tactical standpoint, Jones can easily prove his experience to the voting public. He was the vice-host for seven years and stepped in when the normal host was incapacitated. Jones knows the ins and outs, ups and downs, coheeds and cambrias, captains and tennilles, and inner workings of the STAB! podcast. As for his campaign, insiders have said that all he needs to do to remain in his role as the new host is to lay low and not upset the STAB! constituents. Being generally quiet during the campaign, or even not campaigning, may be to his benefit since he has started the election season with name recognition, high polling numbers, and access to the comedy theater and all the podcast equipment needed to host. Supporters have already come to the defense of the Jones using hashtags #KeepStabSafeFromKSB and #Jesse4Lyfe. Insiders have described him as “giving a shit and working hard” and “doing a great job.”
Jones has been largely silent about the impending race for host of the STAB! podcast, aside from responding to recent attacks from the Brown campaign stating that Jones has a hand in the formation of weather patterns. As of the time of publishing, I have still not heard back from our scientific sources on Jones’ ability to control the weather. (They did not call me back, and I left many messages and I think they’re being rude, or they’re mad at me. I’m not sure which one at this point, and it’s just making my job harder. Ugh.)
The Challenger
Kevin Scott Brown is a dark horse with fiery energy running an especially assertive campaign. He’s accused Jones of ducking and avoiding confrontation (albeit with aggressive language, referring to Jones as “Ducky Jesse” and #quackhack). His expressive language is part of a campaign strategy that seeks to attack Jones from multiple angles. His strategy appears to be generating a groundswell. Pro-Brown hashtags have surfaced including#freshstart2020, #hostwiththemost, and #voteforhost, and campaign signs have sprung up around the city.
In addition to local insurgents, Kevin Scott Brown already has the support of Sacramento Comedy Scene Superdelegate Chris Emery, who announced his intention to vote for him after a recording of the STAB! podcast on Thursday, August 20th (see exact moment here).
According to FEC filings, he’s already racked in a campaign war chest of $50,000, which was reportedly used for ad-buys, but also an immense amount of streaming services including Disney+, Peacock, CBS All Access, HBO Max, HBO Go, HBO Oh No, HBO 2: Dark of the Moon, Quibi and Seeso. My FEC source was also a bit confused as to why Brown disclosed all this information, seeing as he is not running for a government position.
“He seemed really enthusiastic, so I said, ‘just fax over what you have and I’ll take a look.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell him we don’t handle podcast elections,” said a very kind-hearted election official who wished to stay anonymous because they didn’t want any “feelers to be hurt.”
Experience or a New Approach?
STAB voters have a big decision to make regarding the approach of the podcast. The experience of the two mainstream candidates show a stark contrast. The challenger’s campaign has emphasized that Brown would take a new approach to hosting STAB!, which would be apparent given his record of one single appearance. Since he doesn’t have the baggage of hosting this podcast, supporters believe he’ll have a fresh new approach to the panel show.
Jones has been on all episodes except for two, and he’s hosted 16 at the time of publishing. Analysts have pegged Jones as a “tried and true” candidate for the office, and he only gets trieder and truer with every passing episode he hosts.
The Third Parties
Several people have expressed interest in running in STAB’s Twitch chat, but as of right now there are no public records proving their firm intention to run. Kameron Schmid has started an exploratory committee, but he has yet to formally declare.
In conclusion, no matter who you choose this season to host the STAB! podcast, you will definitely be voting for a person, at a comedy theater.
For more updates on this developing story, make sure to come me, Alyssa Cowan, Esq., TOP Sacramento Local Comedy Scene Political Analyst/Journalist.
Updates
In a recent peculiar move, Jones gifted a Twitch subscription to his opponent. While some argue that it’s Jones’ generous nature and general confusion at why someone would want to take over his podcast, analysts have pegged it as a possible mind game.
